i haven't written in forever and a lot of changes have gone down since i last wrote an entry. bobby and i haven't spoken since early november and we generally ignore each other even though we have classes together. he's now with the girl he cheated on me with and i think they've been together for like three or four months now. i try to not let it get to me.

nick and i are back to being best friends again which is awesome. he's still best friends with bobby too which causes some tension but that's okay. i reconnected with my best friends from middle school john and jade and it's great being friends again. i have a lot of fun with them.

i now go out every friday and smoke with john and nick almost everyday. my smoking habits have had a great effect on my schoolwork. i now do all of my homework and show up to every class. i have an A or B in every class except math. i'm failing geometry but i'm trying so i don't have to go to summer school.

i'm looking forward to christmas so that's cool. my mother and stepfather have been renovating our house so that's cool, i guess. our kitchen, living room and mother's bedroom have been completely redone so that's a nice change.

they plan on renvoating my older brother's room, my little brother's bedroom and my bedroom in january. my room is last to be redone because it needs the least amount of work. i'm excited because i'm getting all new furniture and decorations. i get to pick out everything so that's cool.

my sixteenth birthday is approaching in march so that's exciting. i plan on having what i call "a birthday chill" to the amusement to nick. we're going to get some bud and probably have some 40s which i enjoy. nick, john, jade are the only ones i want to hang out with and john says he'll convince bobby to show so that'll be interesting.

in february, i'm getting hair extensions to my elbows so that's awesome.

and in short, i'm picking up the pieces of my life.

i'm living.

IF YOUR LIFE WAS A MOVIE, WHAT WOULD THE SOUNDTRACK BE?
So, here's how it works:
1. Open your library (iTunes, Winamp, Media Player, iPod, etc)
2. Put it on shuffle
3. Press play
4. For every question, type the song that's playing
5. When you go to a new question, press the next button
6. Don't lie and try to pretend you're cool...

Opening Credits: "waiting for my ruca" by sublime
Waking Up: "julia" by the beatles
First Day At School: "can't seem to make you mine" by the seeds
Falling In Love: "like a rolling stone"
Breaking Up: "boss dj" by sublime
Prom: "do you wanna know secret?" by the beatles
Life is Good: "working class hero" by john lennon
Mental Breakdown: "i've seen all good people" by yes
Driving: "big cheese" by nirvana
Flashback: "honey don't" by the beatles
Getting Back Together: "kiss off" by the violent femmes
Wedding: "pool shark" by sublime
Paying the Dues: "2x4" by blind melon
The Night Before The War: "you never give me your money" by the beatles
Final Battle: "foundations" by kate nash
Moment of Triumph: "dick hang low" by afroman
Death Scene: "the ballad of johnny butt" by sublime
Funeral Song: "ebin" by sublime
End Credits: "had dat smoke" by sublime

woke up with a hell of a hangover. i hope to god, i didn't drunk dial bobby. keep your fingers crossed everyone. btw; he told our mutual friend that i had a boyfriend already and that it wasn't cool or right for me to have a boyfriend after being broken up for a week?

umm, i don't have a boyfriend. my friend joey was walking me to class. and why does he care? he parades his new girlfriend around in front of me all the time.

AND WE'VE BEEN BROKEN UP FOR ALMOST FOUR WEEKS.

he won't stop with the mind games. it's so tiring.

idowanthimbackthoughXD

happy birthday johnny!

oh the irony. oh the stigma. oh the bullshit.

i am royally fucked.

I have finally discovered the beauty that is beatle fan fiction. I have actually been involved with fan fiction for about three years and I was a popular Degrassi fan fiction writer but I just fell out of the scene when all the stories became shitty fluff with no meaning. I like stories with purpose not stupidity that can't hold my attention. Most of the good writers stopped and I was sick of it.

I was also an avid Harry Potter fan fiction reader and I made lots of online friends but again I fell out of it when the writing started to became, I don't know any way to describe it but stale. It was the same story over and over again. It got boring and wasn't fun anymore. I abandoned it and I do miss my friends but you know? I can relate to John felt about the Beatles.

I was sick of working with the same writers and being bored. I hated waiting for something extraordinary would show up. That's why I can't understand or relate to the fans who lament their breakup. They grew up and the magic wasn't there. Why stay doing something you used to love when it morphs into a chore that you can't stand doing?

I must sound so different. I guess I had a revelation of some sort. I want my independence back. I'm sick of becoming the Laurel that everyone wants me to be. I want to be myself.

And that is the reason I am going to formally introduce myself.

Hi. My name is Gina.







And I'm sick of pretending and worrying about what I'm going to write and if I'm going to relate to anyone. This is my blog and whatever I have to say is going to be said. I'm not a preppy girl who doesn't care about anything but her appearance.


I'm not going to degrade myself any further. I'm me and these are my opinions. If you don't like this blog, fuck off, okay? Just fuck off. I don't need shit from you. My stupid teenage ramblings will stay just to show everyone I'm human. But this is me.

And my boyfriend's name is going to be revealed. I'm sick of pretending. His name is Bobby and maybe I victimized myself too much. We get into fights and I can be a cunt and he can be a selfish dick but he's a fifteen year old guy. He has the right to independence and the right to be selfish. And so do I. We're still children for Christ's sake. I can't hold him back and I'll be damned if he's holding me back.

Right now, I'm evaluating our relationship. I want to see if the magic is still there. If we just staying together out of comfort or we're not in love but actually obsessed with each other, it's over. He'll still be my best friend and he'll still be my first love but I'm not staying in anything without that connection. I want it. No scratch that, I need it.

Is this real or "deep" enough for you all?

Honestly, she amuses me. The way she tries to seem political! just gives me the giggles. Like, a couple years ago, she's the head of the PTA and now she's the governor of Alaska. And Alaska? Aren't they trying to secede? And the hypocrisy also gives me the shiz and giggles.

Like let's say Obama had a teenage daughter who was seventeen just like Palin's. Wouldn't the Republicans and some Americans play into the stereotypical black teenage girl gets pregnant factor? But since they're white and conservative, it's okay? Seriously, race plays a role whether we'd like to admit or not. As far back as the Creoles and Spanish social system, color has played a huge role in everything.

Whites do actually get treated better in time of scandal. Especially in politics. What if Governor Eliot Spitzer was black? Would his prostitution scandal be looked at differently?

But back to Palin, I don't want to hold her directly responsible for her daughter having unprotected sex or maybe the condom broke or she forgot to take her pill, I don't know but I don't think the blame should be fixated on Palin.

Teenagers are going to have sex whether society wants them to or not. The media isn't to blame, it's biology. Our bodies want it and hell, I'm not depriving my body.

Maybe if birth control other than condoms was readily available, teen pregnancy wouldn't be skyrocketing. Because whether we like to admit it, condoms suck. The male bitches about them, the female feels bad or you worry about them breaking, etc.

And teaching abstinence isn't going to help. My mother taught me to abstain from sex until I was seventeen and I didn't listen. And it wasn't because my boyfriend pressured me. My body said "Laurel, you love him. You trust him. You have protection. Fuck him." And I did. And you know what? Aside from the first time, it's been great ever since.

Whoa, I really strayed from Palin but whatever it's my blog.

i was lurking at beatlesecret like usual and i read a secret that asked why yoko didn't jump in front of the bullet aimed at john. look i don't hate yoko because she nurtured john's darker side and brought out a john that was tortured and scary. i don't hate yoko because she sounds ridiculous every time she opens her mouth. i don't even hate yoko for continuing to sell out john and license his name everywhere instead of doing the sensible thing and getting a fucking job.

i don't even hate yoko. i have no respect for the way she was a disgusting clingy homewrecker. john lennon was a married man with a young son. but she continued to carry on her affair with him. look i'm pretty liberal. i believe in modern ideas but i have strict family values due to my parent's messy divorce. my father cheated just like john and that has made me hate him more than any other man. it has also given me many issues that i won't go into.

but yes she tried to cut julian out of father's life just like my father's girlfriend does. she tried to cheat her stepson out of an inheritance that was rightfully his. she is ridiculous and pretentious. her art is mediocre at best but whatever. she satisfied john and his Oedipus complex.

but yes. she didn't take the bullet for him. maybe it was shock. or maybe she didn't love him as much as we thought?(or doubted)

but during the 1999 stabbing incident at george harrison's home, olivia harrison subdued the man trying to stab her husband nearly single-handedly. think about that love and then remember what yoko did.

that's all.

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i would eat dinner with john lennon on November 9 1966. we would eat at sushi place and i would then proceed to invite him back to my apartment where we would have sex and hopefully i'd get impregnated and be set for life.

note: i'm joking about the last part.

not really

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i would legalize marijuana, adjust the smoking age, legalize gay marriage, increase free trade because globalization = peace, enforce stricter laws on sexual crimes, lower the age of consent to sixteen, and the coming of age to seventeen.

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it might just slip.

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if you're reading this, hi. i love you.


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ugh very embarrassing but it was either eminem's "the eminem show" or blink 182's "take off your pants and jacket". can't remember which but whoa, my taste in music has changed!

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hmm. i would choose plums and pomegranates to be fused together. i would call them plumegranates. at first when you bit into them you would taste the soft squishyness of a plum and then suddenly, your taste buds would be drunk on the sour but sweet taste of a pomegranate. the color would be blood red because colors that like that attract people. especially those twilight lovers. gotta give them a major holla.

i don't hate people. but if there was one person i would have to describe my feelings towards them as hatred, it would be my dad.

fuck you dad. you're not wanted here.



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hmm. first, i would try to enlighten everyone by telling everyone that there is no wrong religion. it doesn't matter what you have faith in as long as you have faith. hopefully this would solve religious hoopla that has engulfed our world since humans started praying and constructing religions.

secondly, i would tell people to just make to attempt to be overall good people and follow their morals but to live for today and remember that technically, and this depends on your religion ;P, you only have one life to live and you should do what you always dreamed of. excluding murder, rape, violence, etc.

lastly, i would try to provide people with a good concrete faith in me to prepare themselves for disasters such the crumbling economy. but i wouldn't want to just instantly grant things such as world peace, endless money, food for the hungry, etc. because i believe that God hands us the tools and knowledge. what we make of it is completely up to us. God just sits back and watches us, his children. ☮

" i'm in charge, laurel. you don't have power over anything. so just shut the fuck up and get over yourself, you self righteous brat."

"so you admit you have all the power in this relationship?"

"babe, i never denied it."

"then what do i control, hardy?"

"being annoying and a huge bitch"

silence


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i'm on the phone with hardy and he's tuning his guitar as i write this. wanna hear a secret?

sometimes i really dislike hardy. i want to smack him and ask him why he acts the way he does. we've known each other for about two years and have been dating almost five months yet i never knew he'd act like this. he's controlling, sometimes verbally abusive,  having unjust double standards, and just acting as if i'm just the most ignorant person on earth. but the more he does these things  the more i yearn for his attention. it's the strangest thing. in the few pictures of us together he looks at the camera and i look at him. i love him.

and he knows all the power he has. he loves it. and as much as he hates the system and all materialistic things, he's just like them. we all are. we can hide behind faux beliefs and forced ways of living but we're humans and humans are capable of all emotions, flaws and actions.

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hi. to avoid situations where people, if anyone reads this ;), are confused about me and my lifestyle and the chronicles of my better half and i, i'm just going to write my life story on this first post. oh and i'm never making this journal friends only. i believe in showing my flaws to the world which is why i got this new livejournal. why have an online journal if you're just going to hide things and censor yourself? it's not really a journal then is it?

but out of respect for my boyfriend and the sanity of my mother, i'm not saying my real name and if i post any pictures, i'm blurring out faces. okay?

hi.

my name is laurel and i'm fifteen year old girl who timetraveled from the sixties to see how groovy the new millenium would be. i'm very let down. i currently reside physically in long island, ny and spiritually, my soul belongs to the gorgeous haven called san francisco. i have a boyfriend named hardy who i've been dating for almost five months. according to to him, i'm his "sugar magnolia". what can i say the man knows the way to my heart? i smoke marlboro menthol but have started to prefer marlboro reds. this topic will likely be a huge debate on my livejournal due to the mudane happpenings of my life?

 well, what do you want from me? it's not 1969. i partake in marjuana usage and believe legalization is the best route but then again, me no like taxes. especially new york taxes. john lennon is my god although, i am a baptized catholic with an interest and immense respect for buddhism. i have a dog named luca brasi and a guinea pig named colosus. i have a sick fascination with the sims 2 that hardy likes to mock when i'm like dude, please where else could i have john lennon, me, hardy, jerry garcia, and jimi hendrix in the same house? note whose the only female.

if you want to be friends, just add me. i love people and will for sure add you back.

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